The Ultimate Diet Sin

Yes, I do yo-yo and I'm not talking about Duncan, walking the dog or over the waterfalls. During the years my weight has flip-flopped up and down the scale like a fish out of water, ranging from 155 (which lasted for two weeks in 1988) to well over 200 lbs. And the strangest observation I can make is that I seem to be on a 10 year cycle. Every 10 years I manage to get down to a decent weight. In each decade this appropriate weight for my height lasted from one to three years. As my focus on attaining a healthy and attractive weight faded the pounds slowly reappeared.

I never intended to or wanted to gain the weight back. I even got rid of my fat clothes each time. I compare my slow but steady weight gain each decade to boiling a frog. When you want to cook a frog, do you toss him into a pot of boiling water? Hardly! He would just flex those strong legs and leap out of the pot. If you want to cook a frog you put him in lukewarm water and slowly heat it to boiling. By the time the frog realizes what is happening, he has croaked. My weight gain came in similar small increments…slacks a bit tight…untuck my blouse…wear the pair that are roomier…wear stretchy waist jeans…feel dumpy…try on the tailored slacks which no longer fit and so, go shopping. I find a darling outfit and yes it is one size larger but I still look good. Especially when I try them on in the fitting room while squinting my eyes. And so on till the water is boiling and I’m squashing myself into size 24 jeans and having my next ‘I am so disgusting’ breakdown.

In January 2005, after tipping the scales at an all time high, I went back to Weight Watchers. I lost some and was determined to “be good” which meant sticking to the diet. So my new determination led me to commit the ultimate diet sin.

By Valentine’s day, I had really gotten past craving sweets. Hubby got me jewelry rather than chocolates. So…no problem. At work a grad student, who I will call BB, offered me a homemade, pink-frosted, heart-shaped sugar cookie. I smiled and thanked her but declined. So did my friend and co-worker. We are, after all, counting points or calories or fat grams and eating a cookie would mean blowing it. BB looked a bit hurt and said something about not being able to give them away. Most of the women in our department are dieting. Heck…most of the women in the U.S. are dieting.

That cookie rebuff has bothered me since. That cookie would have tasted much better than the Payday that I ate two days later. Graciously accepting the pink frosted cookie was the thing to do.

So after mulling it over, I have decided not to do that again. Next time BB brings something sweet and delicious to work I will indulge without guilt. The ultimate diet sin isn’t eating a 1 lb. bag of M&M’s or ‘blowing it’ on the Super Sampler plate at Jose’s Mexican Cafe. The ultimate diet sin is saying ‘no thanks’ to a something that was prepared with pride and lovingly shared. Warning: You do need to recognize and avoid habitual diet saboteurs if you struggle with your weight. But weigh the food and the situation not with your scales but with your brain and heart and if the time is right then "go ahead my child...eat and sin no more".